There are just too many people on this rock! So why can't I just leave?! The majority of this society certainly won't miss me. I'm ready and willing to leave in order to alleviate the population by at least one. But there are a few individuals who don't like the idea of my self-induced departure so I continue to be unhappy and selfish. Isn't that how I should act while I'm in this world, though? I think that's what makes up most of the people in this country so I should fit in just right. Oh, wait! I won't be here to watch it happen. Hmmmm. So what if I just kill those who bother me? I'm sure I can prove my reasons for doing it. Those darn laws get in the way, though, don't they? But...I could reduce the population! Just think! Freeways would not be so clogged which could mean cleaner air!
I promise to just get rid of the rude, obnoxious, inconsiderate ones! Yes, okay...that does describe millions of people in the U.S. so the task would be quite daunting. Hmmmm. But I'll make sure the last one is me! Does that help?!
I can't ask for anyone's help because...again...those pesky laws. I can't even request donations, can I?! Okay, maybe I'll have to rethink this plan since the costs (guns, knives, explosives, my cooking) might not get me beyond one victory - me. Oh, if anyone was wondering...yes, I eat a lot of fast food. So, I'm a lazy no-good SOB who should understand that it's been fun but it's time to go.
Whatever happens, I'll know that I left behind this little diatribe and maybe someone will get a good laugh from it.
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