Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Murder or Suicide. What's the difference?!

There are just too many people on this rock! So why can't I just leave?! The majority of this society certainly won't miss me. I'm ready and willing to leave in order to alleviate the population by at least one. But there are a few individuals who don't like the idea of my self-induced departure so I continue to be unhappy and selfish. Isn't that how I should act while I'm in this world, though? I think that's what makes up most of the people in this country so I should fit in just right. Oh, wait! I won't be here to watch it happen. Hmmmm. So what if I just kill those who bother me? I'm sure I can prove my reasons for doing it. Those darn laws get in the way, though, don't they? But...I could reduce the population! Just think! Freeways would not be so clogged which could mean cleaner air!

I promise to just get rid of the rude, obnoxious, inconsiderate ones! Yes, okay...that does describe millions of people in the U.S. so the task would be quite daunting. Hmmmm. But I'll make sure the last one is me! Does that help?!

I can't ask for anyone's help because...again...those pesky laws. I can't even request donations, can I?! Okay, maybe I'll have to rethink this plan since the costs (guns, knives, explosives, my cooking) might not get me beyond one victory - me. Oh, if anyone was wondering...yes, I eat a lot of fast food. So, I'm a lazy no-good SOB who should understand that it's been fun but it's time to go.

Whatever happens, I'll know that I left behind this little diatribe and maybe someone will get a good laugh from it.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Where are we?!

Has anyone asked himself or herself - What country do I live in, now? I am an English-speaking Caucasian American who was born in San Diego. Of course, San Diego is practically within walking distance of the border from which so many have crossed in order to enjoy the freedoms of the United States. And it seems that there's no problem with that plan.

I recently worked for a company that is very inviting to whoever is willing to do the work. They could offer a nice opportunity for someone who makes the journey north of the ever-deteriorating border & can spare a few pesos. Just find a helpful person who's good with a typewriter and...Voila, the new citizen has a new Social Security card! The number on it might belong to you and not the new citizen but that won't make any difference to this employer. Because now that person can just walk into that company and not have to worry much about any identification or background checks. Way to go, new citizen!

Ohhh, in case you were wondering, that company doesn't worry very much about the government agencies that supposedly work to stop such identity theft. The Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agency is under the umbrella of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). And DHS actually provides literature that states how employers don't have to question the validity of identification. Ahhh, loopholes.

Meanwhile, the so-called beleaguered Social Security Administration isn't going to make much of a fuss because they see it as free money. Actually, FICA (Social Security & Medicare) can say "ch-ching" since both parties benefit from taxes collected from people who will probably never try to claim any of it. But the IRS and state revenue offices might bark at the issue since most of the new citizens set their withholding allowances juuust out of reach. And the dozens of unclaimed W-2 forms, every year, should be proof enough, right?

Please don't think I'm trying to put any kind of positive spin on questionable immigration. Earlier this year, the company had an employee who was suddenly under investigation for sexual assault. And, no, I don't believe his IDs were very authentic. Someone out there needs a new typewriter. Anyway, the last I heard, he just disappeared! Imagine that. Was he guilty of such a terrible crime? Who knows. But the story reminded me of the horrible incident in San Francisco, a couple of years ago. An individual (later proved to be an illegal immigrant) was stuck at a jammed intersection and instead of being just a little more patient, he grabbed his AK-47 rifle and used it! Within seconds, a man and his two sons were dead or dying on the street.

Unfortunately, I don't speak French but maybe I could sneak over my border to the north, anyway. Why not?! A language issue is not such a bad thing, right?!

Bad drivers!

Has anyone ever thought of ways to get rid of bad drivers? Example: Someone races up onto your tail then passes you with what looks to be millimeters between their vehicle and yours. What to do?
1) You could slam on your brakes but that might result in a horrific collision that hurts everyone except the idiot who started it.
2) You could equip the front of your vehicle with a powerful laser then follow such a driver and zap one of their tires. But then you might cause a different kind of nasty crash.
3) Perhaps follow the moron to its destination; wait for it to leave the vehicle then aim the laser at the gas tank. However, we're trying to be "green" so the explosion and fire would probably not be good for the environment.

Hmmm. What to do? What to do? Of course, such retaliation is rather ludicrous and would probably make no decent impact on today's society, anyway. And it's a society that seems to consist of more and more people finding ways to cheat their way through their daily lives.

I recently took a trip to southern CA which sent me through Las Vegas. It was as if southbound Interstate 15 had the freedoms of the German autobahn. I realize everyone was simply jockeying for position before the four-lane highway was cut to only two lanes. However, common courtesy to other drivers was a joke!
And whatever happened to the skill of using turn signals, anyway?! They are not a convenience tool to be used when one just wants to avoid a collision. They are to be used whenever the vehicle is going to make any kind of change in direction! Are people afraid that the little bulbs will burn out and they don't want the hassle of replacing them? Wow! Really?! When did the cost of a light bulb become more important than the public's safety?

It doesn't help that law enforcement is so out-numbered, either. I have a lot of respect for law enforcement, however, I also feel bad for what they must endure. Speaking of southern CA- during my recent trip, there might've been 1 officer for every 100,000 drivers on the road. At least that's the way it seemed to me. Very few people like the idea of "Big Brother" with cameras all over the place. But maybe a few dozen cameras along southbound I-15 would be quite advantageous. Perhaps track an inconsiderate driver all the way to the nearest CHP headquarters. Okay, it probably wouldn't stop all the really bad drivers but the potential fines would probably pay for the cameras.

For now, whenever I see a really bad "accident", perhaps I'll just try my best Nelson Muntz impression - "Ha Ha!"